I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
