Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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