i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
