You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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