She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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