Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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