You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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