dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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