i need an iv and a liver transplant
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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