Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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