He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
