it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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