apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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