This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
