A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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