Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
