I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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