a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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