Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
