I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
