i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
