After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
