girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
