I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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