Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
