Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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