fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
