Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
love makes seman taste better
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
