Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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