what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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