Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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