he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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