Sry I called you an 8
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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