Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
