That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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