it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
