i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
