We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
