I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize