Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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