you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
