Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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