Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
