oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
