I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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