i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
