I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
