my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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