tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
