Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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