Apparently you make a good broom.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
