I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
