I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
