What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You are a genius and a whore.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
