I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
