my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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