Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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