Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
