wrigley field is MILF paradise
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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