I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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