why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize