After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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