I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize