Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
